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1. |
VAST I: Shoaling
04:34
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Step out along the shoal
And listen close
Nonstop, an endless drone
Against the coast
The thinner the thought, the louder the sound
I hear it all around
Pulled out, consumed in whole
By hollow roars
Flood down into my bones
It’s such a bore
Don’t ride the first wave
That hits your mind
There’s more to any world
Than just the shore
Slow down and look around
Before we drown
The thinner the thought, the louder the sound
I hear it all around
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2. |
VAST II: Sea Breathes
04:11
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Head like an ocean
Hair like seaweed on the shore
Voice in the cold air
The signs are yours
And it’s true, there’s no border to view
Deep and blue
When the wave breaks, so do you
Am I tired from the poison that I breathe
Or from the one I hear and see?
It’s all the same thing, boundaries only in the mind
Landscapes and data, it’s all real life
You can try, but there’s nowhere to hide
Hear the sigh
When the sea breathes, so do I
Soft storms on the digital sea
If the world is vast, what does that make me?
Mind erodes, given time
(Everything’s alive)
Artifacts in the light
(Don’t be scared, it’s fine)
Nothing ends where I begin
When the cloud’s at the window, I let it in
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3. |
VAST III: Echo/Echo
04:55
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Ringing out across the walls
Changing shape with each new call
Losing form
By the time it reaches me
I am unable to see
Where it came from or what it means
Pull me underneath the volume of it all
Pull me underneath it all
It’s an echo of an echo of an echo of an echo
Of course it is
Echo of an echo of an echo of an echo
I know it is
Any form that fits your world
Passed along like plastic pearls
Never knowing the harm you do
Pull me underneath the violence of it all
Pull me underneath it all
You’re an echo of an echo of an echo of an echo
Of course you are
Echo of an echo of an echo of an echo
You know you are
Silhouettes, grey and empty
Or a stock sunset palm tree
Real or fake, doesn’t matter anyway
They sound the same
Hanging down from the ceiling
Building up, depositing
Anything that will make them feel okay
Then look away
Pull me underneath the vacuum of it all
Pull me underneath it all
I’m an echo of an echo of an echo of an echo
Of course I am
Echo of an echo of an echo of an echo
I know I am
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4. |
Interlude: Wave Breaks
01:23
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5. |
VAST IV: The Surface
04:26
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Far above, born in the sunlight
I was given an island
Sheltered and wrapped up in birthright
Laying down, resting my head
Waking up under a blue sky
Lazily tending the garden
Floating on, turning my head high
Smiling, closing my eyes
It’s easy when the ones you know
Are safe and alive
Down below there is a great beast
Ravenous, churning and grinding
Apathy without a heartbeat
Pitiful, born out of fear
Somehow I didn’t see it
Maybe I just didn’t want to
It’s not that hard to admit
There is still work to be done
Reflections waiver in the light
It’s not real life
Skimming the surface, I try to feel alright
Soaking in the sunlight, nothing’s ever fine
No sound can be undone
So please, you better know just how far it’s come
No bell can be unrung
So please, you better be sure how deep it runs
I swear I’ll try to get it right
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6. |
VAST V: Yawning Abyss
06:15
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Absent and weak
When was the last time I cried
The last time I tried
Just want to sleep
I don’t feel anything
Lost in the dream
I yawned into the abyss
And felt its breath hit
Cold is the brine in my mind
Where the bad shit floats by
Pulled deeper still
As I scroll through the doom
Darken the room
Can’t find the will
Please don’t talk anymore
My head’s through the floor
Heavy inside, now I know
There’s so far to go
…
But now and then, I find a seam
A mantra spoken back to me:
It’s alright, you’re okay
It’s alright, you’re okay
It’s alright, you’re okay
It’s alright, you’re okay
(We can reach our goals
Extend some patience to our minds)
It’s alright, you’re okay
It’s alright, you’re okay
(In the sea
Release the ballast of hard times)
It’s alright, you’re okay
It’s alright, you’re okay
(There are pathways
That’ll ease us to unwind)
It’s alright, you’re okay
It’s alright, you’re okay
(To reach our goals
Extend some patience to our minds)
It’s alright, you’re okay
It’s alright, you’re okay
(In the sea
Release the ballast of hard times)
It’s alright, you’re okay
It’s alright, you’re okay
It’s alright, you’re okay
It’s alright, you’re okay
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7. |
Interlude: 114 Stairs
01:43
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8. |
VAST VI: Pharos Eternal
05:21
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Every day I climb the stairs
Willingly blanketed in despair
The worst thing you can imagine
Has probably already happened
I’m overwhelmed in bed again
I know the “what” but not the “when”
I’m looking back to think ahead
But all I’ve found is deeper dread
There are voices in the air
Rarely heard but always there
Begging anyone to care
Flooding in from everywhere
Pharos at the end of time
Everything’s an island from this height
Chaos seen through a lens
Feels like it never begins or ends
The points of light will all align
The constellations are defined
It’s slow to see and hard to trust
But there is meaning in the dust
Tiny island in the dark
Full of fear and deeply scarred
Tiny island, pale and stark
Lovely even from afar
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9. |
VAST VII: Petalhead
02:58
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Say again, I don’t think I was listening
Hard to tell when everything is fading
Not your fault, I just get in a mood sometimes
Where it feels like everything’s in half-time
I am in the open air again
I float around to keep my head off the ground
And it’s easy to pretend I’m not around
Foxglove by the open sea
That’s where I’ll be
I can only be, at any given time,
In a single place before I unwind
Living world to world, drifting across the sky
Never interested in what I pass by
Petals in my head
They float away a little more every day
And I’d do anything at all
To keep them in my skull
I’ve lost the words, they always leave
It feels absurd to even be perceived
The lines are blurred between the dreams
I’ve lost the words
Somewhere by a glowing screen
You’ll find me
I know the hurt it sows
I try to be better,
But it comes with the weather
And I hear your song ring clear
It feels like a tether
When I’m light as a feather
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10. |
VAST VIII: Over the Wall
03:48
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Empty home, constant ache
I have seen the toll it takes
Ringing out like a bell
Gone one day
Not even a farewell
Fragile limbs twist and bend
Always two steps from the end
A delicate porcelain beast
In the wind
Miles above the sea
Lashing with all its teeth
Eyes drawn thin
Ignoring what lies beneath
Something changed the way that I perceive
On the day you fell into the sea
I looked down and finally understood
Just how closely to the edge I stood
Hey, so I noticed the comment you made about the girl who slipped over the edge
Something about how she deserved it for being stupid and Darwinism or whatever
And look, I get it on some level, if you do something dangerous there’s probably going to be consequences
But can you honestly tell me you’ve never gone out on the ledge yourself?
I think maybe you’re afraid to admit how often we’re all up there, and how easy it is to slip
I think maybe you’re afraid to be reminded of that fact
And if you’re thinking “so, if we all slip eventually, why should I mourn those who invite it early?”
It’s because life is a brief, precious mess, and acknowledging that is a hell of a lot better than closing your heart away
Forces swell, then release
Lose the ground beneath your feet
We’re going over the wall
Into grey
You never know when you’ll fall
All you can do is try to find ways to stall
Your return to clay
We’re going over the wall
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11. |
Interlude: Enveloped
01:34
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12. |
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I can hear the voice in the ceiling
I can feel the chill in my breathing
Close my eyes and hope that it’s over soon
There’s nowhere I can run, the storm will come
Fractured moments smashing together
Spiral out, confused and untethered
Even now I don’t know what I want to say
There’s nowhere I can run, the storm will come
I’ve looked out the window ten times this hour
Body in a loop while the mind starts to wander
Desperately distant, here but never really here
I hear the harbingers, the storm is near
You ask what’s bothering me, I don’t have an answer
Singing “I don’t feel alright” to myself forever
Anxious in my home again for no reason at all
I hear the harbingers, the storm is near
Waves of noise pass over, closer and faster
Maybe that’s a scream, or maybe it’s laughter
The petrel’s call is growing ever louder
I hear the harbingers, the storm appears
I’m okay, I’m just far away
Trying not to worry today
…
I’m still here
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13. |
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Lay down and close your eyes
Don’t worry, I know you tried
There’s nothing to defend
It’s alright, this day will end
Don’t put this on yourself
There’s others who walk through hell
So take it as a sign:
Not empty, just open wide
We move slow
Tracing the stray thoughts that drift in the brine
While constantly trying not to die
Oh, I know
It’s not a straight shot, it comes like a tide
But sure as the sea, I see you rise
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Seismograph Portland, Oregon
Making noise in the corner.
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