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VAST

by Seismograph

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poketaco
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poketaco Perfect music for writing and translating. In Oblivion has been on my playlist forever, and this one is even more magnificent. Thank you Favorite track: VAST VIII: Over the Wall.
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1.
Step out along the shoal And listen close Nonstop, an endless drone Against the coast The thinner the thought, the louder the sound I hear it all around Pulled out, consumed in whole By hollow roars Flood down into my bones It’s such a bore Don’t ride the first wave That hits your mind There’s more to any world Than just the shore Slow down and look around Before we drown The thinner the thought, the louder the sound I hear it all around
2.
Head like an ocean Hair like seaweed on the shore Voice in the cold air The signs are yours And it’s true, there’s no border to view Deep and blue When the wave breaks, so do you Am I tired from the poison that I breathe Or from the one I hear and see? It’s all the same thing, boundaries only in the mind Landscapes and data, it’s all real life You can try, but there’s nowhere to hide Hear the sigh When the sea breathes, so do I Soft storms on the digital sea If the world is vast, what does that make me? Mind erodes, given time (Everything’s alive) Artifacts in the light (Don’t be scared, it’s fine) Nothing ends where I begin When the cloud’s at the window, I let it in
3.
Ringing out across the walls Changing shape with each new call Losing form By the time it reaches me I am unable to see Where it came from or what it means Pull me underneath the volume of it all Pull me underneath it all It’s an echo of an echo of an echo of an echo Of course it is Echo of an echo of an echo of an echo I know it is Any form that fits your world Passed along like plastic pearls Never knowing the harm you do Pull me underneath the violence of it all Pull me underneath it all You’re an echo of an echo of an echo of an echo Of course you are Echo of an echo of an echo of an echo You know you are Silhouettes, grey and empty Or a stock sunset palm tree Real or fake, doesn’t matter anyway They sound the same Hanging down from the ceiling Building up, depositing Anything that will make them feel okay Then look away Pull me underneath the vacuum of it all Pull me underneath it all I’m an echo of an echo of an echo of an echo Of course I am Echo of an echo of an echo of an echo I know I am
4.
5.
Far above, born in the sunlight I was given an island Sheltered and wrapped up in birthright Laying down, resting my head Waking up under a blue sky Lazily tending the garden Floating on, turning my head high Smiling, closing my eyes It’s easy when the ones you know Are safe and alive Down below there is a great beast Ravenous, churning and grinding Apathy without a heartbeat Pitiful, born out of fear Somehow I didn’t see it Maybe I just didn’t want to It’s not that hard to admit There is still work to be done Reflections waiver in the light It’s not real life Skimming the surface, I try to feel alright Soaking in the sunlight, nothing’s ever fine No sound can be undone So please, you better know just how far it’s come No bell can be unrung So please, you better be sure how deep it runs I swear I’ll try to get it right
6.
Absent and weak When was the last time I cried The last time I tried Just want to sleep I don’t feel anything Lost in the dream I yawned into the abyss And felt its breath hit Cold is the brine in my mind Where the bad shit floats by Pulled deeper still As I scroll through the doom Darken the room Can’t find the will Please don’t talk anymore My head’s through the floor Heavy inside, now I know There’s so far to go … But now and then, I find a seam A mantra spoken back to me: It’s alright, you’re okay It’s alright, you’re okay It’s alright, you’re okay It’s alright, you’re okay (We can reach our goals Extend some patience to our minds) It’s alright, you’re okay It’s alright, you’re okay (In the sea Release the ballast of hard times) It’s alright, you’re okay It’s alright, you’re okay (There are pathways That’ll ease us to unwind) It’s alright, you’re okay It’s alright, you’re okay (To reach our goals Extend some patience to our minds) It’s alright, you’re okay It’s alright, you’re okay (In the sea Release the ballast of hard times) It’s alright, you’re okay It’s alright, you’re okay It’s alright, you’re okay It’s alright, you’re okay
7.
8.
Every day I climb the stairs Willingly blanketed in despair The worst thing you can imagine Has probably already happened I’m overwhelmed in bed again I know the “what” but not the “when” I’m looking back to think ahead But all I’ve found is deeper dread There are voices in the air Rarely heard but always there Begging anyone to care Flooding in from everywhere Pharos at the end of time Everything’s an island from this height Chaos seen through a lens Feels like it never begins or ends The points of light will all align The constellations are defined It’s slow to see and hard to trust But there is meaning in the dust Tiny island in the dark Full of fear and deeply scarred Tiny island, pale and stark Lovely even from afar
9.
Say again, I don’t think I was listening Hard to tell when everything is fading Not your fault, I just get in a mood sometimes Where it feels like everything’s in half-time I am in the open air again I float around to keep my head off the ground And it’s easy to pretend I’m not around Foxglove by the open sea That’s where I’ll be I can only be, at any given time, In a single place before I unwind Living world to world, drifting across the sky Never interested in what I pass by Petals in my head They float away a little more every day And I’d do anything at all To keep them in my skull I’ve lost the words, they always leave It feels absurd to even be perceived The lines are blurred between the dreams I’ve lost the words Somewhere by a glowing screen You’ll find me I know the hurt it sows I try to be better, But it comes with the weather And I hear your song ring clear It feels like a tether When I’m light as a feather
10.
Empty home, constant ache I have seen the toll it takes Ringing out like a bell Gone one day Not even a farewell Fragile limbs twist and bend Always two steps from the end A delicate porcelain beast In the wind Miles above the sea Lashing with all its teeth Eyes drawn thin Ignoring what lies beneath Something changed the way that I perceive On the day you fell into the sea I looked down and finally understood Just how closely to the edge I stood Hey, so I noticed the comment you made about the girl who slipped over the edge Something about how she deserved it for being stupid and Darwinism or whatever And look, I get it on some level, if you do something dangerous there’s probably going to be consequences But can you honestly tell me you’ve never gone out on the ledge yourself? I think maybe you’re afraid to admit how often we’re all up there, and how easy it is to slip I think maybe you’re afraid to be reminded of that fact And if you’re thinking “so, if we all slip eventually, why should I mourn those who invite it early?” It’s because life is a brief, precious mess, and acknowledging that is a hell of a lot better than closing your heart away Forces swell, then release Lose the ground beneath your feet We’re going over the wall Into grey You never know when you’ll fall All you can do is try to find ways to stall Your return to clay We’re going over the wall
11.
12.
I can hear the voice in the ceiling I can feel the chill in my breathing Close my eyes and hope that it’s over soon There’s nowhere I can run, the storm will come Fractured moments smashing together Spiral out, confused and untethered Even now I don’t know what I want to say There’s nowhere I can run, the storm will come I’ve looked out the window ten times this hour Body in a loop while the mind starts to wander Desperately distant, here but never really here I hear the harbingers, the storm is near You ask what’s bothering me, I don’t have an answer Singing “I don’t feel alright” to myself forever Anxious in my home again for no reason at all I hear the harbingers, the storm is near Waves of noise pass over, closer and faster Maybe that’s a scream, or maybe it’s laughter The petrel’s call is growing ever louder I hear the harbingers, the storm appears I’m okay, I’m just far away Trying not to worry today … I’m still here
13.
Lay down and close your eyes Don’t worry, I know you tried There’s nothing to defend It’s alright, this day will end Don’t put this on yourself There’s others who walk through hell So take it as a sign: Not empty, just open wide We move slow Tracing the stray thoughts that drift in the brine While constantly trying not to die Oh, I know It’s not a straight shot, it comes like a tide But sure as the sea, I see you rise

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Imagined places along the Oregon coast, soft storms on the digital sea.

credits

released March 28, 2021

All music by Jonathan Ioviero.

Mastered by Warren Hildebrand.

Abyss Choir: Kate Davis, Malcom Lacey, Kyle Reigle.

Additional lyrics on track 6 by Malcom Lacey.

Written and recorded between May 2019 and February 2021 in a bedroom in Portland, OR.

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Seismograph Portland, Oregon

Making noise in the corner.

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